Moving Beyond Likability
When you think about the people you interact with regularly, there are likely many whom you find to be genuinely awesome. They might be friendly, charismatic, and enjoyable to be around. But here’s an essential question: are they trustworthy? Can you confide in them with your deepest secrets or your most critical plans?
This distinction between likability and trustworthiness is critical. You might admire someone’s personality, but that doesn’t automatically mean you would trust them with your confidential information. Trust is a cornerstone of any meaningful relationship, whether personal or professional. It goes beyond superficial interactions and requires a deeper understanding of the people around us.
Trust is built through clarity and candid communication. Often, misunderstandings and mistrust arise not because of malintent but due to a lack of clear communication. When you interact with others, do you take the time to ask clarifying questions? Do you explain your thoughts, decisions, and intentions openly? This transparency is crucial for fostering trust.
Consider a typical scenario in a leadership team. You might hear someone say, “I just don’t trust this person.” But have they taken the time to understand that person’s perspective? Trust issues often stem from not asking the necessary questions: “What are you thinking?” “Why are you making that decision?” “What is your intention?”
By asking these questions, you empower yourself to truly understand where the other person is coming from. This process helps you avoid the pitfall of letting past experiences or assumptions cloud your judgment. Misunderstandings are frequently the result of projecting past encounters onto present situations, which is unfair and unproductive.
Building trust requires that you also clearly share your intentions and thoughts. Communication is a two-way street. If you’re open about your reasoning and decisions, you set the stage for others to do the same. This openness can dispel many of the assumptions that lead to mistrust, bringing a sense of relief and ease to the relationship.
If you find that there are people in your network whom you like but don’t trust, it’s worth taking the time to understand their intentions better. Sometimes, it’s a matter of realigning perceptions through better communication. Ensure that you’re not just making assumptions based on limited information or past experiences. This process can bring a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction to your relationships.
Ultimately, the goal is to have people in your life who are both likable and trustworthy. Trustworthiness involves understanding how the brain works—both theirs and yours. It means recognizing the importance of clear, candid conversations and the need to build trust through mutual understanding and transparency.
